So maybe I'm a little disgruntled because my 2 year old has been a pill all day long and I've reached my limit. Or maybe its because I haven't done a sarcastic post in a while. Who knows? But I feel its high time to write a sarcastic blog about the things people do on Facebook that drive me bananas. And hopefully I am not the only one who feels this way. And, just so you know, I am not targeting any select person(s) here. These are just things that my friends and I complain about to eachother. And, also just so you know, I fall into a number of these categories too. Guilty as charged.
#1 -- Super duper lovey dovey couples
I appreciate that people have good relationships and all, but come on. Sometimes I just feel like saying, "Get off Facebook, and get a room!" You know who I mean; the lovey dovey couples who write back and forth to eachother almost every day, praising their mate for every little thing. "You are the greatest wife and mother. Thanks for making me waffles for breakfast." Excuse me while I gag. If you need to share your lovey dovey-ness with all your mutual friends on Facebook every single day, then I begin to wonder... Who are you trying to convince - your friends, or yourself? Because, and maybe this is just me, I think those who are secure in their relationships don't constantly have to reinforce their love for their partner daily and publicly, and praise them for things like making waffles for breakfast. My husband thinks my waffles rock, but he doesn't have to tell all his friends every single day about every single thing I do that he likes. And honestly, I wouldn't want him to, because I think its lame.
#2 -- The non-chatty chatters
You know who I mean; the people who pop up on your chat feed constantly - like, every single time you log in - but never say anything more than hi. You try to put the ball in their court and engage them in conversation, but you know you're only going to be given one word answers to your questions. And they never fail. "How are you? How are the kids? What did you do today?" "We're good. Had a good day." Uhhhmm...care to elaborate? No, apparently not. Thanks for wasting my time.
#3 -- Friends that friend you to "catch up," because, "it's been AGES since we talked," but ignore you instead
Again, you know who I'm talking about; your BFF from 7th grade who you were stuck like glue to, whom you haven't talked to since your freshman year of high school, who is dying to catch up with you - they said so in their friend request - but no matter how many times you comment on their statuses, write on their wall, send them a message, or "like" the things they posted, they never seem to comment back, answer your wall posts, write more than a sentence in return to your messages, or "like" anything you post. Okaaaay... I thought you wanted to catch up. So...let's catch up. If you don't really want to, then why did you request me in the first place? I'm confused...
#4 -- The pot stirrers
I admit, sometimes I am one of these people. But I don't think I am that bad. I am talking about the people who constantly turn anything and everything into a debate and/or something negative. You post, "I went clamming this morning," and they say something like, "I hope you used a shovel because clam guns can break their shells and are inhumane." Thanks for the tip, but I think I'll do it my way. Then an entire debate breaks out over clam guns vs. shovels, things get ugly, and its just darn right uncomfortable because you are trying to be diplomatic, and everyone wants you to pick a side. I'm a lover not a fighter. Go pick a fight on someone else's wall, please. Especially if its over something as trivial as how I catch my clams.
#5 -- The extremists who hate to hear others' opinions
I can sometimes fall into this category too. This mostly applies to religion and politics, but I am sure everyone has these types too. The Republicans who rip apart the Democrats (or vice-versa) just for believing one little thing they disagree with, so they must all be discredited and told they're stupid. Or the atheists who think Christians are a collective group of brainwashed people without brains, and Christians who treat atheists like they are calloused, unfeeling heathens. Now, I love me a good debate (I really do), but keep it civil, and bear in mind that your opinion is just that - your opinion. Others are entitled to theirs too, and you need to give them and their viewpoint at least some respect and consideration. Nobody has all the "right" answers to everything, you'll just look like a jerk if you act like you do, and nobody is going to take you seriously. Trust me on that one.
I know I have more, but these are the 5 I could think of offhand. Please, nobody be offended by this, because its not directed at anyone in particular. Its directed at the ridiculousness that Facebook can, and too often does, bring out in human behavior.
So, do you fall into any of these categories? Which habit do you find most annoying? Do you have any to add to the list?