Friday, July 8, 2011

"Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?"

About a month ago, I saw an article by The Huffington Post stating that a scientific study has proven that whining is the most annoying sound in the world.

So, sorry, Jim Carrey. You've got it wrong.

Duh! Tell me something I don't already know! Every parent, throughout time, all over the world, already knows this. There is nothing that grinds your sanity down to powder in seconds flat quite like whining does. The torture level, I'm convinced, is akin to waterboarding. Possibly worse. (Though, I've never been waterboarded, so don't quote me on that.) And I have a 3 year old. I know "whine torture."

So while whining is the clear winner, based on scientific "proof" - not that we needed it - I have to say, I could probably come up with the runners up. And they are also all kid-generated noises.

First Runner Up - Ear-splitting screams. And I'm not talking about the ones that send a parent running at Maurice Green speeds. You know, the ones when you just know your child got really hurt. I'm talking about the ones my girls do when they are mad. The loudest, shrillest screams ever! Honestly, I am amazed I am not deaf yet.

Second Runner Up - What I like to call "boy noise." I don't know what it is about boys, but they just make obnoxious noises without even realizing it. When I worked in daycare, I experienced it. There were boys that would be coloring pictures and making all these weird beeping, booping, squeaking, squawking, popping, buzzing, name it...noises. And they didn't even know they were doing it! However, the girls in the class, and my own girls, don't do this. And my own son is definitely no exception to the rule. In fact, he may be the worst boy noise maker who ever lived. I have certainly never met a rival that comes even close. I kid you not, my son has gotten sent to his room countless times because he just cannot be quiet, and after a certain point, I can't take any more beeping, booping, squeaking, squawking, popping, buzzing, humming...or anything else. Five minutes of respite from unnecessary noise here and there is all I ask. Five minutes!

Third Runner Up - Armpit farts. This may fall under boy noise, but I think it deserves its own spot. I would personally like to not thank whomever taught my son to armpit fart. Any time he is changing clothes, or takes off his shirt because he's hot, or he's bored, or...anytime it strikes his fancy, really...he armpit farts. And to a 9 year old boy, armpit farts are the funniest thing ever. So while he's rolling with laughter, I am rolling my eyes. Enough with the armpit farts already. The novelty has worn off!

I know there are many, many more, but if I was the judge, the trophies would go to those.

What do you think? Do you agree that whining is the most annoying sound in the world? What other noise(s) do you think deserve a trophy for most annoying sound in the world?

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